I'm a rule-follower

Yes. I am a rule-follower. I wear my name tag while I'm in the Texas Medical Center UH College of Pharmacy building. When I'm on one of those moving sidewalks I stand on the right, or walk on the left. I pay my bills on time.

Okay, I do speed when I drive I will admit but I promise you it's not as bad as when I first started driving. I did pay all my speeding tickets on time and completed my defensive driving for all of them.

It's not that I don't question the rules, and if I objected to a rule I would speak up. It's not as if I don't roll my eyes when someone tells me it has to be in pen (blue or black or red ink?), or it has to be in pencil with no strike-outs/erasures/hesitation. It's not as if I don't chafe at the yoke of 'the man' occasionally. Am I pissed off that I've heard the same "name tag/terrorists" lecture countless times? You bet.

But honestly people, what is so hard about doing the right thing the first time? What is so hard about doing the simple things? What is so hard about asking someone if you don't know how to do something?

Of course I have had a few things on my mind to use as examples!

When Ben came down to see me a couple weeks ago he was on the phone with me as he hurried off the plane and toward the pick-up area of Hobby airport. He was in a mad dash to jump into my arms (okay, hyperbole perhaps) and as I was circling the airport he made the loudly whispered admonishment, "I would be there faster if *some* people would stand on the right and walk on the left."

I assume he meant those moving sidewalks. I know I've been inconvenienced more than a few times by people who ignore the large signs in clear block letters that suggest the proper way of using the community moving sidewalk. It's not their moving sidewalk after all. I have fantasized more than once about pretending that I was late for my flight and knocking their asses flat on the conveyor belt as I rush past. Of course, those fantasies also involve me wearing a scarf that is flowing behind me, large sunglasses, and an entourage carrying my matching luggage so that the person who is in blatant violation of good manners is not only knocked flat, but stepped over. Several times. And then I hope their ugly Crocs get stuck and melt. I digress.

Our apartment fitness center has a keyed entry since they updated the equipment and installed televisions. I went today to reacquaint myself with physical fitness after several months, and as I was having the normal mental struggle whether to continue making a fool of myself I couldn't help but notice someone tapping on the door. He walked back and forth from door to door in front of the windows my treadmill faced. I glared at him until I could ignore him no longer.In a huff I interrupted my workout to let him in. I can't help it if I slammed the bar on the door to let him and another equally annoying woman in, then whirled around and hopped back on my treadmill without so much as a glance. Hey, it's better than me holding up my key and continuing to ignore their irritating, plaintive taps and glances.

That's what I'm going to do next time.

Get a key people! I got it! I assumed responsibility for the outrageous $200 lost-key charge. I am not inconveniencing others with my laziness. What irritates me the most is the thought that I am breaking the rules letting these people in. I can't help but notice that our formerly brand new set of hand weights has slowly dwindled in available weights and it's all probably because saps like me let in some assholes who wait to take whatever isn't screwed into the floor.

Don't even get me started about the people who pull up to the gate of my apartment complex and then just sit there rather than pulling off to the side. I pull up and wait behind them, already knowing they have no legitimate means of entry. Then they have the nerve to *honk* at me as if I can do anything with their vehicle blocking the place where I use my card. I find that if they annoy me enough, it takes me a mighty long time to locate where I put that keycard (even though it's in the same place it always is). And I love to wait until the gate is ALL the way open before I drive through, and I am also more apt to follow the 5-10 mph speed limit as I enter.

I think Pomikiolani is Hawaiian for "passive-aggressive".

I also don't tend to cross the sidewalk unless I have a 'walk' symbol, but you better kill or seriously injure me if you hit me when that jaunty white guy appears. My husband is an insurance adjuster and I know just how much money I can squeeze out of you in the state of Texas (and Louisiana and Arkansas, too) but that will be the least of your worries in the mean time. I know it may have been a while since, if ever, you read your handbook regarding the rules of the road, but there are three little words that tend to pop up quite frequently: YIELD TO PEDESTRIANS. I know I only have three more weeks, but wouldn't it be ironic if that was when someone finally ran into me as I crossed the street rather than these near misses?

I guess it just really pisses me off because I follow most of the rules and do my best not to inconvenience the people around me. Heck, sometimes I go out of my way to help a stranger. It's just in my nature. So when people can't even do the little things it just really gets on my nerves.

And that's my rant for today. La. ;)